so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
