My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
