It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
