Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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