I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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