But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
