how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize