I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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