I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
