it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
