he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
