sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize