and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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