I wannas sexs uuuuu
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
