she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
