so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
