Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Small penises have feelings too.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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