i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
