party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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