no you cant smoke seaweed
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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