we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
