She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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