I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
