Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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