VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
