remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I faked an abortion last night.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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