There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
