she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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