So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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