Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
