I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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