I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
In America we eat man semen.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
