i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
