ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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