I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
