You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
