things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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