I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
