Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
