also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize