he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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