I faked an abortion last night.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
