Where did you get a picture of my penis
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
