so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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