I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
