Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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