omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
