ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize