C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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