Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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