Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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