grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
