from now on my penis is your penis
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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