This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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