Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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