woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize