man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize