There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
