Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
