Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
