if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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