I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
