Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize