If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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