i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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