Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my being single is dangerous.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
did you just send me my own nude
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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