Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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