Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
